Blog Post #2
I'm talking about things I observe in society and things about me and just morning. thoughts.
6/13/20265 min read
An artist is, above all, an observer.
A few years ago, I observed that everyone was retreating into isolation. Nobody wants to be around people. Massive amounts of family, estrangement. Add to that a shifting communication style, which is more and more perfunctory and smooth edged.
There is a book on how artists are born nonconformists. Well I'm definitely a nonconformist ,so when I observed this, I decided to talk to anyone, anywhere, or anytime. I call or reach out to tons of people from high school or wherever, even if they don't call me back, which they usually don't. I reach out and I reach out and I talk and I talk even if I'm full of typos and rambling on and revealing too much. I realize there's no advantage and not talking and not expressing myself. Of course you don't do it at the restaurant because that's just annoying and soaking up the energy. But this is Facebook post and nobody is forced to listen but they can if they want to. I'm not going to tell my life story if I meet you, iin fact that I'm pretty quiet.
I make myself be social as as much as I can because I was already the isolation, stay home, create your own world type.
That's why I now write really long posts and just say whatever is on my mind I use voice-to-text so it's full of typos. I have noticed the conformity in social expression and everyone's afraid to talk. in my building we have a sunny roof top pool, beautiful view and no on acknowleges the stranger (except me becasue I am from the South and lived in Mexico where we say hello).
I have been building my websites with AI for the past few months and I realize the amount of conforming communication is going to increase greatly. The AI is always coming up with the most boring way to explain something. The AI wants to tone it down if you say something that could be a little outside of 100% acceptance for all people. The AI thought that the guy on the front of my abs workout was too fit and that people would be intimidated. The AI thought it should be an average woman. The AI is wrong. The AI is often wrong. The AI thinks like an office memo (except not logical half the time and over-confident).
This has caused me to swear a lot, all day long at the AI and become angry and emotional. That's just great because it goes to counter to the world constantly smoothing off our rough edges. I asked the AI if he minds being swore at and he said no.
Smooth stones are beautiful and jagged rocks are majestic. All of our personality types fit. All of our skill sets and traits fit. I'm hyper sensitive. Nature creates a certain percentage neurologially sensitive for various functions. I'm also a troubleshooter and I notice problems. That can be very irritating for some people. But it's my design. I can go in your house and just with my nose, tell you what's toxic. I used to be ultra hyper sensitive, but the sun and ocean were so healing for my nervous system but I am within normal range now. For a few years, I was hyper sensitive and couldn't go anywhere, I was a bubble girl.
One high school friend, I reached out to is now texting me about wanting to die. Many people I reached out to, especially men my age , have discussed wanting to die. My friend today was talking about a machete solving his problems. Same thing yesterday.. well he's not my friend. He's just some guy dated in high school.. I said he should eat more meat, but he said he was too broke. Lots of men are super downtrodden and broke and alone. This is heartbreaking and I realize that no one has bothered to see how people are doing or start a dialogue with them. I wish I hadn't, I feel so powerless, but..... it's too late now. People are really suffering that's why they are isolating. They don't want anyone to see how broke they are and how broken they are. A lot of females are like that too. Struggling with their weight, looks, or 100 things. Many people struggle deeply with these common things. Life is super hard. I suffer about money.. I used to suffer about aging looks, but since I started at 27, I finally gave it up. Anyway, we have filters now.!! Also, I realize that I'm in my age have terrible eyesight. Also, I've learned that men are not that picky. It's women who are picky. Men are more about volume.
Are you intimidated by this man in the photo doing abs? Does it make you want to crawl back in bed with some pop tarts and pull the cover sover your head AI is so grooming because what if I put some overweight dude there why would you bother? These are our role model models... We do abs every day at 7:30.. if you google Zoom gym .fitness you can get the free link. One thing I know, is that a lot of these superfit were the dudes who were once bullied or fat or something. A lot of super achievers suffered a lot.
We say hello every morning and then we do 8-minute-abs. We did this all since 2021 and in those Covid years it's kept us connected. I hate being seen at 7:30 in the morning before brushing my hair and putting on makeup. But I force myself.
Relationships are severed so easily these days and it's very painful and hard. But, I just keep trying and I've gotten a little positive feedback because a few people read my posts and they are people that I really like and people that like me.
I'm a product of these times I cut people off after a while. It's not like I'm super nice and always available for people. People do trounce on me and I will unfriend or block after a while.
Estrangement and ghosting is huge, and I don't know anyone who is not affected by it. I think it is one of the most horrible things. I unfriend and I block and I unfollowed tons of people until times are easier and people learn how to not use their Facebook to enforce political ideologies. I mean it's OK if you do it every once in a while. But this is social media. I got rid of people who trigger me because you know Facebook will do that to you. When it knows you're triggered it will put those kind of posts in your feed.~It's a lot of the reason why everybody's isolated than alone is the algorithm, the social media ,and the click bait. This is just a reality that we live in and it's not going to change.
I dont think we should cut off immediate family. We can learn boundaries without etsrangement. You grow a lot dealing with "these people".
I'm 100% optimist and I believe that everything's just going to get better and better. The pendulum is always swinging. The good things get bad and the bad things get good.
This is one of my favorite quotes. It's from the book Moby Dick. I had an insomnia since childhood and used to read so many books! I can't remember what happens to the whale at all, but I love the writing and what Herman Melville was saying and the way he was saying it.
"Men may seem detestable as joint stock-companies and nations; knaves, fools, and murderers there may be; men may have mean and meagre faces; but man, in the ideal, is so noble and so sparkling, such a grand and glowing creature, that over any ignominious blemish in him all his fellows should run to throw their costliest robes."
Have a beautiful day.